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Wednesday
5th June

Clint Eastwood or why I don’t take myself seriously

The other day while looking through my notebook one sentence struck me: “I take my work seriously, but I don’t take myself seriously”. I was glad to see that I had written this because not taking myself very seriously is something I started only recently. Just as when I sit in the early morning hours to meditate, I try to observe myself during the day without judgment. I see how I struggle to do the best I can but still make mistakes, frequently the same ones because I often feel rushed even when there’s no reason for it. Now, rather than upset me, it makes me smile. At least, most of the time.

 

It is not only the effort itself that I have managed to put into perspective, but also the unrealistic standards I had set for myself. Since I could never reach those standards, I always felt that I was falling short, which in turn made me strive even harder because the backlog of unachieved objectives only grew.

 

Taking this self-imposed call to exertion seriously filled my life with an overburdened heaviness.

 

Lately, when I tell myself to lose four kilos, to start writing at six o’clock in the morning or to lengthen my cross training by half an hour, I take a more relaxed attitude. Nevertheless, responding in such an easy-going manner still requires some practice. Writing in my notebook that I don’t take myself seriously therefor feels like a sign of progress.

But shortly after reading it, a doubt crept into my head. Even though I almost always write down the name of the author I quote in my notebook, and none was mentioned here I started to wonder if I had really come up with it myself.

 

When I googled the sentence, it turned out to be a quote from Clint Eastwood. I have no idea where I picked this up. But the fact that I thought I had invented this sentence proves how right I am not to take myself too seriously.

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